Elaine's dance

I'm getting closer to understanding why it seemed so important to find a tangible connection.  It has to do with the idea of home.  I realize Woodstock is not my home, even when I was living in the immediate area I would always say I lived 3 miles away.  Others I grew up with, just a few houses away, say they grew up in Woodstock.

As a young teenager I worked in Woodstock.  At the Joyous Lake, in fact.  I've loved music, for as long as I remember.  My parents played us Woody Guthrie's Songs for Children -- I still remember some of those songs.  But another element hitting me now, is how superficial my understanding of music has been and is. 

Reading anything I can find on Levon Helm, I've come across a number of pieces written by musicians.  I've learned the meaning of expressions like "in the pocket" and "behind the beat."  But while I can understand the description (after going to other sources to find the definitions) I really have no ear for it.  And I mean, really don't.

Jack Hamilton's piece in the Atlantic http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2012/04/levon-helm-was-perfect/256184/ gave me proof.  I've played Van Morrison's Caravan performance from the Last Waltz with special attention to what happens around 0:17 -- repeatedly.  When I can watch the numbers I think I can almost hear it.  When my attention lapses in a certain way I almost hear it.  When I think I've heard it, it sounds like the record slowing down just the slightest bit.  A friend tried to describe it to me by saying, "It's like someone about to take a breath but didn't."

My sense of rythym may best be visualized by finding a clip of Seinfeld's Elaine dancing.  I just played one for myself and confirmed it -- my fragile hope at this moment is -- if even I can see how bad her sense of rythym is in her dance, then maybe I'm not a totally lost cause. 

On the other hand, here I've been describing perception and thought.  When it comes to physically demonstrating a sense of rythym through dance or even clapping along -- maybe I am Elaine after all.  I see all too clearly why I was kicked out of band in junior high.  I'm sure it didn't help that being close enough to the right pitch was good enough for me.